Five

 We had "waited on the Lord".

We had a good Christian courtship.

We had premarital counseling.

We were madly in love.

He proposed, of course I said "YES!"

We saved our first kiss for the wedding day.

I realize what a cliche that sounds like, but I'm glad we did.

There's something precious in it, 

and our relationship was built far beyond anything physical.

So, when the "big day" arrived, we were totally ready.

 It was destiny! It was glorious!

 

It was beautiful, and so pink. 

Let me tell you, there was a lot of pink goin' on.

(It's still my favorite color!)

We had family and friends who supported us, encouraged us, and loved us.

It was the classic church wedding,

complete with bride-in-the-nursery shots.

Haha!

 

Our parents gave us to that moment,

and I wish I would have better grasped all that meant.

I wish I would have savored this walk.

It was such a blur-I looked into Scott's eyes the whole time,

but I wish I would have held my daddy's hand, too.

Because my life was changing, and I ignored the importance of the transition.

 

Then we stood before 450 people,

and vowed our lives to each other.

That's all pretty blurry, too.

Such a lovestruck high!

It went so fast, and we were so caught up with being in love!!

I wish I could go back to that moment and say,

"WAIT! You are committing to happiness, to sorrow, to gain, to loss. 

Take a deep breath, mean it with every fiber of your being, 

and go forward with convinced purpose, not just butterflies."

 

Because here we are, five years later, with more at stake.

We have invested in each other, 

we have grown closer,

we have had children,

we have lost together,

and we have gained more from each other.

I love being married

and I love my husband.

I have also come to realize that a good marriage

is based on waking up every morning intending to honor God.

It's not for my husband, it's not for me,

it's for the One who created us, who put us together,

and who made us one.

With each passing year my commitment grows, my appreciation of Scott grows, and my devotion to us grows, and my devotion to Christ grows.

Five Things Marriage has Taught Me

1. Love extends far beyond what I feel in an impulse or a moment. 

Dating is romantic. He wants to make her the happiest girl on earth, and (let's be honest) she wants to be the most gorgeous girl for him. Twitterpated, they overlook all flaws and float around with stars in their eyes!
 Engagement is sweet. She shows off her ring, and he good-naturedly entertains jokes about "the ole' ball and chain". They make life plans, still with stars in their eyes and roses on the breeze. Marriage counselors try to get the lovebirds to seriously think through challenges and changes that come with tying the knot; some of that advice will actually stick and be remembered in later years.
Then comes marriage! Real life kicks in, and character flaws (once cute or only vaguely annoying) are now glaringly evident in the spotlight of constantly living with someone. It is work to take advantage of those early butterflies-to recall often what it is that you love about your spouse. Being honest is vital, and constant commitment necessary. Devotion and honor are vital, and they build an ever-deeper love that is sustained by a mutual belief in God as Head.
 

2. Secrets can be good things.

I love, love, love that Mr. Wonderful and I have inside jokes. Our senses of humor are so similar! I LOVE THAT. A simple wink, nudge, or single word can have us chuckling together. It's pretty great, I have to say. So, the good secrets are the special ones we have that no one else will ever understand or care to know.

3. "Best Friends" goes far deeper than I could imagine.

I call him Mr. Wonderful because he truly is. Whether he is being daddy or husband or...you guessed it...best friend, all those roles fit together. When I need a shoulder to cry on, or an honest opinion, or a deep discussion, or a kind word of correction, or someone to laugh with me when I make a fool of myself, or someone to be just as embarrassed as I am when I stick my foot in my mouth-that's my husband. That's my best friend. He cares about the things I do, and doesn't belittle my feelings. He is so patient when I'm grumpy, and backs me up as a Mom.
I'm not afraid to tell him he's being ridiculous, and I love the silly jokes he cracks. I love handing him his coffee and giving that goodbye kiss as he heads for work. I love when he baby talks to Olivia, cuddles Miss Lucy, and cheers on Miss Ava's efforts to be a big girl. I love the feeling when I know exactly where something is he's looking for-and it makes him so excited! It crushes me when I disappoint him.
He was strong when I miscarried 3 years ago. He wept with me for the child we've never met. He has been my partner and my coach for the births of our 3 girls. He is strong when I am not, and he always sweeps me off my feet with his love for me.
I love how he'll put his arm around me in public. I love that he's not embarrassed to kiss me, wherever we may be. I love that he is excited to introduce me to people he knows, and I love hearing how much his friends love him. I am thankful for the mutual respect we have, and that, at the end of the day, he is the one I sleep next to.

4. That beauty is really a tiny part of attraction.

Okay, so this part may be a little bit horrible. Ready? Brace yourself. (I'm embarrassed to admit this.)
I used to think that ugly women had bad marriages, and that beautiful women had the best marriages. (Blame Hollywood, maybe?) This misconception carried way past my teens, and I still struggle with my self image.
I know Mr. Wonderful is handsome and studly, and I want to be the gorgeous, young wife on his arm. I don't want him to be embarrassed to be seen with me, and I want to dress in an attractive way that pleases him.
 Now, let's get real. Most days I wear stretchy pants and big t-shirts because children are messy and babies poop and spit up and all that jazz. There are days I actually forget to shower, and my hair is greasy and I probably don't smell great and yet he still hugs me and tells me I'm beautiful. And really means it. That floors me.
Three children have taken a toll. I'm definitely not in my 18-year-old body any more! He tells me I'm beautiful and means it. Wow. That blows me away.
There are days I yell at the kids and apologize for it probably 28.6 times at least. And he walks in the door and tells me I'm a great mom. And means it.
There are days the house is messy. I've had chances to clean while the children are playing nicely, but instead I've probably been on Facebook or Pinterest and cleaned the bare necessities-like the kitchen counter. And he walks in the door and compliments me on the 2 clean spots in the whole house, and loves me, and it amazes me.
There are days I'm at my wits' end with the children, and he walks in the door and I'm not actually mad at him, but since I have to keep in together and set a good example for the children (lest they be ruined, right?), he gets the brunt of my frazzled-ness and my clipped tone, and my aggravation...and he stays, and he settles the home, and he is kind to me. I can't believe how good he is to me!
So you see why I adore this man, right?

5. It's God's way or the highway.

I can be a very hard-headed person. I can be argumentative. I didn't always show proper respect to my parents, and definitely forced my own way more than once. And society only encourages this, whether it's movies depicting parents as complete nincompoops or husbands as blathering idiots who know diddly-squat about being a parent or even a husband. And the longer I'm married the more intentional I have to be to honor my husband. Society is relentless, and my natural tendencies, born of years of begrudging my authority, rear their ugly heads.
I'd say this is the most important thing I've learned from marriage: that if you choose to obey God, to follow the Bible, and to just DO what the Word says, it solves a lot of problems.
"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." Proverbs 31:26
"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33

And by the grace of God, my marriage is wonderful.

 

Littlest

 The littlest Sister is so loved.

Her big sisters look after her and want to help in any way they can.

 She loves her big sisters, too.

In One Year

Out of curiousity (and maybe a little nostalgia) I looked at pictures from one year ago.

I was blown away by how much the girls have changed in one year!

Here is February 2012:

 ......................................................................................

One year ago,

Lucy didn't even have teeth,

could only crawl,

and had barely enough hair in front for a tiny barrette.

Now she runs,

dresses up,

wears hair bows and pigtails,

and has lots of teeth in her cute little grin.

 One year ago,

Ava was just learning her alphabet,

her hair fit into a clip,

the most complicated thing to learn was potty training,

and she was obsessed with Thomas the Train.

Now she is learning basic phonics and writing letters and numbers,

her hair falls to her waist,

she loves to tell big, expounded stories,

we answer questions like, "are there night monsters?",

and she still loves Thomas, but Strawberry Shortcake too.

 

It is amazing what changes in one year.

It has been a good year.

Now they are sisters that have tea parties and are princesses and play silly with bears

and learn verses together and wake up and go crazy together.

They are growing up, and I wouldn't miss this life for anything.

4th

 Four roses for four years

 because

Four years ago

my daddy walked me down an aisle,

and gave me away.

 

 When he gave me away, he gave Scott my purity ring that I had worn for 4 years.

It was an emotional moment-the man that had protected and guarded me for 19 years was giving those rights to another.

(I still tear up, thinking about it.)

 Our fathers spoke blessings over us before we were pronounced Man and Wife.

I am ever grateful for our fathers. They are amazing men.

I love how pleased Scott looks as I sign our license!

We kept our very first kiss for our wedding day.

Which meant that Wedding Day was Kissing Day!

We were surrounded by decades of faithfulness.

These parents showed us what faithful, selfless, giving marriage should be.

They are still showing us; I am beyond thankful for our Fathers and Mothers!

It's interesting walking into marriage.

Questions we talked about, such as

"Where do we see ourselves in five years?"

and

"What do you think our kids will be like?"

are things that by God's grace we are seeing answered.

Four short years

with Baby #3 on the way

and sorrow and triumph under our belts

(we've learned quickly the In Sickness and In Health bit)

I feel as though we are still just getting started.

And I am thankful for how far we have come.

Life is richer, fuller, better, more wonderful because of the man I married.

I love Scott more than I have words for-he completes me.

Our wedding verse:

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3

We are still speaking this truth, year after year.

Family Photos {2012}

Girl Talk

This evening was lovely.

I laid in the grass with my girls, and we talked.

I love hearing what my darlings have to say.

 and there is nothing quite so lovely as moments with the Littles I love the most.

Mother's Day

{Mother's Day morning, my Darling and our beautiful girls!}

My dad, sister and I had been planning a special day for my mom. Scott, the girls, and I surprised her by showing up at church, then we managed to surprise her even more by making lunch! We snuck away after church and my sisters and I put together an elegant table and lunch for everyone. My mom was delighted and we had a wonderful afternoon!

My sweet husband gave me two of my favorite things:

The most amazing cookbook I have ever seen

 and my most favorite ice cream ever!

I am glad there is a day devoted to mothers. 

Mothers through the ages have sacrificed and worked hard for their children. 

I am so thankful for my mom!

And I am incredibly blessed to be a mom, 

to these charming little girls

and their sibling in heaven.

My greatest joy would be to know that all my children will meet in the presence of God one day-

because the goal of my motherhood

is that Jesus is Lord, in every space of our lives.

Miss Lucy

 From first whispers of life

 to the magic of meeting you face to face

 you brought healing, joy, and gladness.

 I love you forever, Lucy Mae

Happy First Birthday, my darling girl!

You are a delight

and endless blessing

hugs and kisses, lovie.