Five Things Marriage has Taught Me

1. Love extends far beyond what I feel in an impulse or a moment. 

Dating is romantic. He wants to make her the happiest girl on earth, and (let's be honest) she wants to be the most gorgeous girl for him. Twitterpated, they overlook all flaws and float around with stars in their eyes!
 Engagement is sweet. She shows off her ring, and he good-naturedly entertains jokes about "the ole' ball and chain". They make life plans, still with stars in their eyes and roses on the breeze. Marriage counselors try to get the lovebirds to seriously think through challenges and changes that come with tying the knot; some of that advice will actually stick and be remembered in later years.
Then comes marriage! Real life kicks in, and character flaws (once cute or only vaguely annoying) are now glaringly evident in the spotlight of constantly living with someone. It is work to take advantage of those early butterflies-to recall often what it is that you love about your spouse. Being honest is vital, and constant commitment necessary. Devotion and honor are vital, and they build an ever-deeper love that is sustained by a mutual belief in God as Head.
 

2. Secrets can be good things.

I love, love, love that Mr. Wonderful and I have inside jokes. Our senses of humor are so similar! I LOVE THAT. A simple wink, nudge, or single word can have us chuckling together. It's pretty great, I have to say. So, the good secrets are the special ones we have that no one else will ever understand or care to know.

3. "Best Friends" goes far deeper than I could imagine.

I call him Mr. Wonderful because he truly is. Whether he is being daddy or husband or...you guessed it...best friend, all those roles fit together. When I need a shoulder to cry on, or an honest opinion, or a deep discussion, or a kind word of correction, or someone to laugh with me when I make a fool of myself, or someone to be just as embarrassed as I am when I stick my foot in my mouth-that's my husband. That's my best friend. He cares about the things I do, and doesn't belittle my feelings. He is so patient when I'm grumpy, and backs me up as a Mom.
I'm not afraid to tell him he's being ridiculous, and I love the silly jokes he cracks. I love handing him his coffee and giving that goodbye kiss as he heads for work. I love when he baby talks to Olivia, cuddles Miss Lucy, and cheers on Miss Ava's efforts to be a big girl. I love the feeling when I know exactly where something is he's looking for-and it makes him so excited! It crushes me when I disappoint him.
He was strong when I miscarried 3 years ago. He wept with me for the child we've never met. He has been my partner and my coach for the births of our 3 girls. He is strong when I am not, and he always sweeps me off my feet with his love for me.
I love how he'll put his arm around me in public. I love that he's not embarrassed to kiss me, wherever we may be. I love that he is excited to introduce me to people he knows, and I love hearing how much his friends love him. I am thankful for the mutual respect we have, and that, at the end of the day, he is the one I sleep next to.

4. That beauty is really a tiny part of attraction.

Okay, so this part may be a little bit horrible. Ready? Brace yourself. (I'm embarrassed to admit this.)
I used to think that ugly women had bad marriages, and that beautiful women had the best marriages. (Blame Hollywood, maybe?) This misconception carried way past my teens, and I still struggle with my self image.
I know Mr. Wonderful is handsome and studly, and I want to be the gorgeous, young wife on his arm. I don't want him to be embarrassed to be seen with me, and I want to dress in an attractive way that pleases him.
 Now, let's get real. Most days I wear stretchy pants and big t-shirts because children are messy and babies poop and spit up and all that jazz. There are days I actually forget to shower, and my hair is greasy and I probably don't smell great and yet he still hugs me and tells me I'm beautiful. And really means it. That floors me.
Three children have taken a toll. I'm definitely not in my 18-year-old body any more! He tells me I'm beautiful and means it. Wow. That blows me away.
There are days I yell at the kids and apologize for it probably 28.6 times at least. And he walks in the door and tells me I'm a great mom. And means it.
There are days the house is messy. I've had chances to clean while the children are playing nicely, but instead I've probably been on Facebook or Pinterest and cleaned the bare necessities-like the kitchen counter. And he walks in the door and compliments me on the 2 clean spots in the whole house, and loves me, and it amazes me.
There are days I'm at my wits' end with the children, and he walks in the door and I'm not actually mad at him, but since I have to keep in together and set a good example for the children (lest they be ruined, right?), he gets the brunt of my frazzled-ness and my clipped tone, and my aggravation...and he stays, and he settles the home, and he is kind to me. I can't believe how good he is to me!
So you see why I adore this man, right?

5. It's God's way or the highway.

I can be a very hard-headed person. I can be argumentative. I didn't always show proper respect to my parents, and definitely forced my own way more than once. And society only encourages this, whether it's movies depicting parents as complete nincompoops or husbands as blathering idiots who know diddly-squat about being a parent or even a husband. And the longer I'm married the more intentional I have to be to honor my husband. Society is relentless, and my natural tendencies, born of years of begrudging my authority, rear their ugly heads.
I'd say this is the most important thing I've learned from marriage: that if you choose to obey God, to follow the Bible, and to just DO what the Word says, it solves a lot of problems.
"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." Proverbs 31:26
"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33

And by the grace of God, my marriage is wonderful.

 

The Patio (Part One)

 Welcome to the patio.

Sad, cracked, sunken, and just plain blah.

In fact, this entire area was in pretty bad shape. 

We kept getting water seepage in our family room. 

(Partly because of the poor drainage, and partly because of an inordinate amount of rain!)

After months of thinking, planning, talking, scheming, and dreaming,

we went to a great big store that sells a lot of great stuff.

(It starts with M and the end sounds like yards.)

Everything we ordered was on sale. Huge blessing!

Then pallets of supplies were delivered to our yard:

Then we started demo.

(And by "we" I mean studly Mr. Wonderful.)

My dad and brother came and helped demo as well.

And more progress has been made since Sunday:

  

This is today (July 3rd), and the progress of the new wall:

I'll keep you posted...

we still have to finish demoing the patio, and install the pavers for our new one.

I'm so excited for this update to our house!

Arm Update

Scott's arm was set on Friday, but today he is still very tired and lacking energy or appetite.
Of course, his body is dealing with major trauma.

Right now the prayer request is that his arm will heal properly. And please pray that he would not be too discouraged; it is hard for him to 1.be away from work where he has many projects going and 2. not be able to really hold the girls. (My anniversary gift may be getting a proper two armed hug!!)


{There is a family we know with 5 small children, and their daddy is dealing with a major break in his foot/leg. Please pray for them as well right now (his name is Nate).}

Left Arm

Yesterday (Saturday) we traveled to one of our favorite annual events, a tackle football game that involves many friends.
While playing Scott was tackled and his left arm was hit hard, which resulted in a broken bone.
The hospital recommended an orthopedic specialist, with whom we will meet tomorrow (Monday). Scott's arm is splinted, and he is resting and over all feeling well. The pain meds are doing their job so he is reasonably comfortable.
{here is his arm}
I will keep you all updated as we know what will happen, and we thank you for praying!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

A New Flavor

Warning: The following images contain epic cuteness and should only be viewed by those who can handle adorable to the max.

The first couple bites were interesting...then she got the hang of it and snarfed the whole thing down.

Is "snarfed" a word?

Full tummy, happy daughter!

Daddy got in on the action too.

Apparently she needs food faster, dad!

Pardon me. My messy kitchen is showing.

I know. It's so cute. I pretty much giggle every time she eats the stuff. She smiles so big when the bowl and spoon come out, and practically inhales every bit.

Of course, I'm still the main course and favorite part of her menu. :)

Conglomeration

Spring does things to me.

It makes me want to match the sun's brilliance and do a million things all at once. So, I try to juggle multiple projects and still keep our apartment clean so as not to stress over a constant mess.
(Disclaimer: I frequently fail at keeping things clean. Please do not assume that I am perfect in this area. I would be mortified if you were to do so. Thanks)

Want to see what I've been doing lately? I finally pulled pictures off our camera...here's a glimpse at this past week:

Scott's birthday:
The ribeye steak...

The items of mass destruction...I mean deliciousness. The items of deliciousness:
I even made mashed potatoes from scratch. Yum:
Forgive me. I can neither stage nor photograph food. But this steak was incredible. Scott's comment was, "I could get addicted to this". Yes, it was that amazing.
"Happy birthday, darling!"


Now, while I am on the subject of food, I also made fresh bread. My second attempt in the 14 months we've been married, and it was pretty good too. Good flavor is a bonus, since we've got to eat it.

Like my scrapbooking goodies from Hobby Lobby? I love their paper sales. I get a little overeager when they have paper sales.To make the day complete, Hobby Lobby also had McCall's patterns for $1.99. I desperately wanted to make Ava a dress, but didn't want to pay more for a pattern than I would for a finished product. Bingo! Add some cute fabric, and we've got something going:
Ava seemed to like the pattern as well.

I realize that I take and post pictures of my child when she's happy. I would like to refute any "perfect parent" image you may think I'm trying to project. Please note the dissatisfation with mommy's choice of activity: cleaning over doting attention.

(Can I add here that she gets so much attention...I think that's why she was bummed...because I took a break from her...silly child. I still love you.)

My silly girl's response to me playing with her after the cleaning was done. Oh, my. Could she be any more female??


Thanks for reading.
This was long.
And random.
But I have neither the time nor patience to post seven different times.
So...I hope you enjoyed. :)