Imperfect

Sometimes I get stressed.

I'm told I'm a very happy person. I find that to be true, usually because I see too much joy in Christ to walk around a sad person.

That doesn't mean I ignore real life.

Last weekend was so busy that it left poor baby Lucy a constipated mess.

My days have been full of fussing, crying, and Ava responding to her grumpy little sister, "NO, Lucy Mae!" then running away. (This was happening about every 30 seconds.)

Yesterday I was fed up.

If she says "no" one more time...!

Then she did.

I had no idea how to get my 2-year-old to want to encourage, rather than yell and run. I didn't have a way to communicate to her. I was exhausted by her whining, her refusal to obey, the jerking and throwing when I picked her up...everything.

I looked at her, gripped her shoulders...her angry eyes glared back.

"Mommy is so frustrated, and I don't know what to do. I need you to be in one place and be quiet." On the couch she went with her books.

Later, Scott came home. Out of nowhere, a perfect little angel appeared at my dinner table! This is it! Daddy must always be here! He must never leave!

Ha! Sure enough, the minute daddy went somewhere else my defiant little girl wrenched herself from my cleaning attempts and sent taco meat flying.

Angrily I faced my husband. "It's not fair! She's a perfect little angel for you! I'm tired of being the only one she's naughty for!"

I most definitely pouted. In fact, my behavior wasn't too different than my daughter's.

I grudgingly opened my evening devotional and was bowled over by what I read:

"Do I trust at all in the flesh? Or have I learned to go beyond all confidence in myself and other people of God? Do I trust in books and prayers or other joys in my life? Or have I placed my confidence in God Himself, not in His blessings? 'I am Almighty God...' -El Shaddai, the All Powerful God (Genesis 17:1). The reason we are all being disciplined is that we will know God is real. As soon as God becomes real to us, people pale by comparison, becoming shadows of reality." (Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest)

Reminded again that I had forgotten my Lord, forgotten to look at Him, to speak His name in place of my frustration, I asked forgiveness.

Today hasn't been perfect, but my perspective has again been shifted.

It is about GOD.

Definitely not about me...and thank Him for that!

"Approach this day with awareness of WHO is Boss. As you make plans for the day, remember that is is I who orchestrate the events of your life...On days when your plans are thwarted, be on the lookout for Me! I may be doing something important in your life, something quite different than what you expected. Don't try and figure out what is happening. Simply trust Me and thank Me in advance for the good that will come out of it all." (Sarah Young, Jesus Calling)

Isaiah 55:9-11

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts.

“ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,

And do not return there,

But water the earth,

And make it bring forth and bud,

That it may give seed to the sower

And bread to the eater,

So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;

It shall not return to Me void,

But it shall accomplish what I please,

And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."