Five

 We had "waited on the Lord".

We had a good Christian courtship.

We had premarital counseling.

We were madly in love.

He proposed, of course I said "YES!"

We saved our first kiss for the wedding day.

I realize what a cliche that sounds like, but I'm glad we did.

There's something precious in it, 

and our relationship was built far beyond anything physical.

So, when the "big day" arrived, we were totally ready.

 It was destiny! It was glorious!

 

It was beautiful, and so pink. 

Let me tell you, there was a lot of pink goin' on.

(It's still my favorite color!)

We had family and friends who supported us, encouraged us, and loved us.

It was the classic church wedding,

complete with bride-in-the-nursery shots.

Haha!

 

Our parents gave us to that moment,

and I wish I would have better grasped all that meant.

I wish I would have savored this walk.

It was such a blur-I looked into Scott's eyes the whole time,

but I wish I would have held my daddy's hand, too.

Because my life was changing, and I ignored the importance of the transition.

 

Then we stood before 450 people,

and vowed our lives to each other.

That's all pretty blurry, too.

Such a lovestruck high!

It went so fast, and we were so caught up with being in love!!

I wish I could go back to that moment and say,

"WAIT! You are committing to happiness, to sorrow, to gain, to loss. 

Take a deep breath, mean it with every fiber of your being, 

and go forward with convinced purpose, not just butterflies."

 

Because here we are, five years later, with more at stake.

We have invested in each other, 

we have grown closer,

we have had children,

we have lost together,

and we have gained more from each other.

I love being married

and I love my husband.

I have also come to realize that a good marriage

is based on waking up every morning intending to honor God.

It's not for my husband, it's not for me,

it's for the One who created us, who put us together,

and who made us one.

With each passing year my commitment grows, my appreciation of Scott grows, and my devotion to us grows, and my devotion to Christ grows.

Five Things Marriage has Taught Me

1. Love extends far beyond what I feel in an impulse or a moment. 

Dating is romantic. He wants to make her the happiest girl on earth, and (let's be honest) she wants to be the most gorgeous girl for him. Twitterpated, they overlook all flaws and float around with stars in their eyes!
 Engagement is sweet. She shows off her ring, and he good-naturedly entertains jokes about "the ole' ball and chain". They make life plans, still with stars in their eyes and roses on the breeze. Marriage counselors try to get the lovebirds to seriously think through challenges and changes that come with tying the knot; some of that advice will actually stick and be remembered in later years.
Then comes marriage! Real life kicks in, and character flaws (once cute or only vaguely annoying) are now glaringly evident in the spotlight of constantly living with someone. It is work to take advantage of those early butterflies-to recall often what it is that you love about your spouse. Being honest is vital, and constant commitment necessary. Devotion and honor are vital, and they build an ever-deeper love that is sustained by a mutual belief in God as Head.
 

2. Secrets can be good things.

I love, love, love that Mr. Wonderful and I have inside jokes. Our senses of humor are so similar! I LOVE THAT. A simple wink, nudge, or single word can have us chuckling together. It's pretty great, I have to say. So, the good secrets are the special ones we have that no one else will ever understand or care to know.

3. "Best Friends" goes far deeper than I could imagine.

I call him Mr. Wonderful because he truly is. Whether he is being daddy or husband or...you guessed it...best friend, all those roles fit together. When I need a shoulder to cry on, or an honest opinion, or a deep discussion, or a kind word of correction, or someone to laugh with me when I make a fool of myself, or someone to be just as embarrassed as I am when I stick my foot in my mouth-that's my husband. That's my best friend. He cares about the things I do, and doesn't belittle my feelings. He is so patient when I'm grumpy, and backs me up as a Mom.
I'm not afraid to tell him he's being ridiculous, and I love the silly jokes he cracks. I love handing him his coffee and giving that goodbye kiss as he heads for work. I love when he baby talks to Olivia, cuddles Miss Lucy, and cheers on Miss Ava's efforts to be a big girl. I love the feeling when I know exactly where something is he's looking for-and it makes him so excited! It crushes me when I disappoint him.
He was strong when I miscarried 3 years ago. He wept with me for the child we've never met. He has been my partner and my coach for the births of our 3 girls. He is strong when I am not, and he always sweeps me off my feet with his love for me.
I love how he'll put his arm around me in public. I love that he's not embarrassed to kiss me, wherever we may be. I love that he is excited to introduce me to people he knows, and I love hearing how much his friends love him. I am thankful for the mutual respect we have, and that, at the end of the day, he is the one I sleep next to.

4. That beauty is really a tiny part of attraction.

Okay, so this part may be a little bit horrible. Ready? Brace yourself. (I'm embarrassed to admit this.)
I used to think that ugly women had bad marriages, and that beautiful women had the best marriages. (Blame Hollywood, maybe?) This misconception carried way past my teens, and I still struggle with my self image.
I know Mr. Wonderful is handsome and studly, and I want to be the gorgeous, young wife on his arm. I don't want him to be embarrassed to be seen with me, and I want to dress in an attractive way that pleases him.
 Now, let's get real. Most days I wear stretchy pants and big t-shirts because children are messy and babies poop and spit up and all that jazz. There are days I actually forget to shower, and my hair is greasy and I probably don't smell great and yet he still hugs me and tells me I'm beautiful. And really means it. That floors me.
Three children have taken a toll. I'm definitely not in my 18-year-old body any more! He tells me I'm beautiful and means it. Wow. That blows me away.
There are days I yell at the kids and apologize for it probably 28.6 times at least. And he walks in the door and tells me I'm a great mom. And means it.
There are days the house is messy. I've had chances to clean while the children are playing nicely, but instead I've probably been on Facebook or Pinterest and cleaned the bare necessities-like the kitchen counter. And he walks in the door and compliments me on the 2 clean spots in the whole house, and loves me, and it amazes me.
There are days I'm at my wits' end with the children, and he walks in the door and I'm not actually mad at him, but since I have to keep in together and set a good example for the children (lest they be ruined, right?), he gets the brunt of my frazzled-ness and my clipped tone, and my aggravation...and he stays, and he settles the home, and he is kind to me. I can't believe how good he is to me!
So you see why I adore this man, right?

5. It's God's way or the highway.

I can be a very hard-headed person. I can be argumentative. I didn't always show proper respect to my parents, and definitely forced my own way more than once. And society only encourages this, whether it's movies depicting parents as complete nincompoops or husbands as blathering idiots who know diddly-squat about being a parent or even a husband. And the longer I'm married the more intentional I have to be to honor my husband. Society is relentless, and my natural tendencies, born of years of begrudging my authority, rear their ugly heads.
I'd say this is the most important thing I've learned from marriage: that if you choose to obey God, to follow the Bible, and to just DO what the Word says, it solves a lot of problems.
"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." Proverbs 31:26
"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33

And by the grace of God, my marriage is wonderful.

 

Fifteen Ways Mr. Wonderful and I are Different

Pioneer Woman did a post like this today. I enjoyed hers a lot, and thought it would be fun to do the same here. Enjoy!

1: He likes math.
I like English

2: He prefers games played on computers.
I prefer board games.
for the record, we both enjoy many of the same games.

3: He prefers mayonaisse.
I prefer Miracle Whip.
we buy mayonaisse

4: He takes care of the rodents,
I take care of the bugs.

5: He sleeps best cool.
I sleep best with 42 blankets and flannel pants.
even in the summer, i need a sheet or something!

6: He talks things through in a concise manner, reaching a conclusion in a reasonable amount of time.
I talk things through in many random directions, with much gesturing of hands and varied vocal tones.

7: His love language is acts of service,
My love language is physical touch.
for the record, he frequently comes home and eagerly cooks supper, and plays with the girls, and mows the lawn, and keeps up with house maintenance...and still gives me back rubs. what a guy!

8: He likes to wake up bright and early and greet the day.
I somewhat grudgingly wake up bright and early, and stagger around until I've had a lot of coffee.

9: He likes ranch dressing on many different foods.
I think ranch dressing is highly overrated.
we both really love bleu cheese.

10: He will pass on dessert and eat a little more meat.
I'll pass on the food and eat 4 pieces of that delicious cheesecake, thanks!
we both really do love cheesecake, and frozen brownies. his favorite is vanilla ice cream with homemade chocolate shell.

11: He likes things in one place, all the time, so he knows where everything is.
I rearrange, and organize, and redecorate, and am always convinced things can look better and better.

12: He keeps things that might be useful one day, or that he really can't part with.
I'll toss unused anything (qualified as junk) faster than you can say, "please don't part with my beloved belongings".

13: He watches documentaries and plays Minecraft.
I watch cooking shows and play Pinterest.
we both really enjoy watching Top Gear (U.K.)

14: He enjoys Applebees.
I sincerely enjoy Panera Bread and iHop.
we both like Red Lobster, Perkins, and Noodle Zoo.

15: He retains 98% of all information and rarely writes things down.
I write everything down and retain 5% of all information given.

How are you and your spouse different? How are you similar? What is it in your relationship that colors and flavors it?  

Celebrate and enjoy the differences!

4th

 Four roses for four years

 because

Four years ago

my daddy walked me down an aisle,

and gave me away.

 

 When he gave me away, he gave Scott my purity ring that I had worn for 4 years.

It was an emotional moment-the man that had protected and guarded me for 19 years was giving those rights to another.

(I still tear up, thinking about it.)

 Our fathers spoke blessings over us before we were pronounced Man and Wife.

I am ever grateful for our fathers. They are amazing men.

I love how pleased Scott looks as I sign our license!

We kept our very first kiss for our wedding day.

Which meant that Wedding Day was Kissing Day!

We were surrounded by decades of faithfulness.

These parents showed us what faithful, selfless, giving marriage should be.

They are still showing us; I am beyond thankful for our Fathers and Mothers!

It's interesting walking into marriage.

Questions we talked about, such as

"Where do we see ourselves in five years?"

and

"What do you think our kids will be like?"

are things that by God's grace we are seeing answered.

Four short years

with Baby #3 on the way

and sorrow and triumph under our belts

(we've learned quickly the In Sickness and In Health bit)

I feel as though we are still just getting started.

And I am thankful for how far we have come.

Life is richer, fuller, better, more wonderful because of the man I married.

I love Scott more than I have words for-he completes me.

Our wedding verse:

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3

We are still speaking this truth, year after year.

3 Years

We've only just begun a journey, and it gets better every day. There is extraordinary beauty found in a marriage focused on the Lord Jesus!

Two Years

My very darling husband brought these home:

(note to self: next year, just forget again that hubby will get flowers, because it's really fun to be genuinely surprised by a bouquet.)

and this evening we had a long dinner at Perkins...
then went and saw this:

(cute movie, by the way.)

My awesome sister stayed with the kiddo, and then attempted to get a decent picture of us two goofballs for historical posterity.

................................
I can't say how wonderful these last two years have been. We have been through a lot...and in every tiny detail I see the loving, mighty hand of God. He has blessed us, and I am thankful beyond words for every moment I am Mrs. Scott Kratzer.

Catching the Little Foxes

I would apologize for offending anyone...but I can't apologize for truly believing something.

Last night, I felt like I was in a slump. I felt irritated at my husband, stressed by my daughter's fussing, and it sort of fluctuated in nature...one minute I'd feel all happy and enjoying talking to Hubs, and the next my brain would find something to nitpick about him.

Highlight: Babes fell asleep in her sling while I was holding her. Just cuddled right up and zonked out. She's never done that before, and my heart was a huge puddle, let me tell you. I just melted over that one.

Okay, back on topic.

Bedtime was fast approaching, and I was snippy. Like I told my Darling, "I just want to start a fight, and I don't know why, because really, I don't ever want to fight with you!" There wasn't any reason to disagree, I just kept being rude, snotty, and he was so confused, poor man.

Than it hit me like an elephant on a freight train: Satan wanted to divide my heart, and steal the joy I could have! I told Scott this, and he agreed. I immediately gave up my attitude to Christ, and we had a lovely conversation after that, and a sweet prayer time before bed.

Here's my point: Don't let Satan be divisive in your marriage. God has given you your spouse for love and encouragement. NOT as a scratching post! Oh yes-discuss things, be a sounding board, have times where you cry together-but don't let anything divide you!

"Catch us the little foxes, the foxes that spoil the vines..." Song of Solomon 2:15

Valentine's Day, Part Two

A candle-lit dinner, waltzing in the living room, kisses and sweet nothings whispered...it was an amazing evening.


I got him a bear, whom he promptly named Quincy and declared his new desk buddy at work.
These truffles are divine, and the card would make you nauseous.

He came home with a long-stemmed red rose-the most perfect rose I've ever seen-and a card that made me cry and would make you throw up. It was that mushy.

Just to give you an idea of how our brains think, we both used the phrase, "My One and Only" in our cards...without knowing what the other had written. That's true romance for you!


While Scott was out delivering Singing Valentines, I prepared a romantic evening for the two of us. He loves when I curl my hair. "Softly around your face", is the phrase he uses as he gazes into my eyes and strokes my cheek. (Sorry, too much mush?)

Here's before, pre-hairdo and makeup. I love spending time doing my hair and makeup in a way that I know Scott loves.

And, post dolling up. He liked. :)

Our candlelight dinner. I was so absorbed in the romantic evening we spent, that I didn't take any pictures of us. My hubby put on his tux, I wore a black dress and heels, and Ava took a wonderful nap. We took advantage of our time together and thoroughly enjoyed it!

One of the things we always talked about doing was to dress up and waltz around our living room. We hadn't done that yet, and I was really wanting to! So guess what! Scott put on a record (yes, real vinyl, folks!) and we waltzed. And then we just swayed, enjoying the music, the love in each other's eyes, and the fact that we are more in love every day.

"When I fall in love, it will be forever...when I give my heart, it will be completely."

Just in Time for Valentine's Day!

I want to link up all you married folks out there to this amazing site I found. Talk about ideas for romancing your spouse year round! This especially is helpful to me, as I seem to find cobwebs when I try to think of creative ways to bless my husband. Enjoy!

Visit here and be blessed!

Happy Valentine's Day!

"God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 NIV

Love...True Love!

Oh, how often I wish things upon myself that I know I would not have! Often the things I wish have to do with my husband, and I'm sure we all know where that gets us, ladies! That's right: absolutely nowhere! It is foolish trifling to try and change a man that you have claimed to love for exactly himself, for it only produces strife. However, I frequently forget that fact.

Scenario: Clothes on our bedroom floor, one or both of us has commented on it.
I say: Darling, can you put these things away for me?
Translated: You lazy slob, I can't believe you actually expect me to pick up after you time and time again!
What should be said: Darling, I'd love to be able to do everything, but I get frustrated at times. It's very helpful to me when you put your dirty laundry in the hamper right away.

Scenario: 5 loads of laundry all over our bed, it seems to never end, and Scott asks if I can use his help.
I say: Darling, of course I'd love your help folding laundry! Thank you for offering!
Translated: I'd rather fold it all myself in the first place, rather than have to re-fold everything you've done wrong.
What should be said: Darling, I know you don't always do it exactly how I'd like, but the pleasure of your company in this chore makes it delightful!

Scenario: Scott is on his computer working, honestly oblivious to the fact that I am trying to care for a fussy baby, make supper, clear the dining table, straighten the kitchen, and all while realizing how much I could have done earlier in the day, while I was blogging.
I say: *Nothing*
Translated: I can't believe he doesn't notice everything I need help with! Why doesn't he offer to help?!
What should be said: Darling, can you hold the baby for me? She needs a diaper change, if
you don't mind. It would be so helpful for me to get supper on the table. *kiss* Thanks, hon!

Does any of this sound familiar? I know it can happen a lot, and we tend to forget that every relationship is a give and take. Try focusing on how you can give, and don't hold a grudge. (For further reference, read 1 Corinthians 13.) And for the times you are guaranteed to mess up, be ready with an apology and a hug. Now, what about the times he's wrong? Well, that's when you don't take it personally, lovingly address what's wrong, be a servant, and then, when the time is right, sit and talk about it. (Wives, submit to your husbands.) That's hard stuff! But we have to let our men be men and lead, and not complain when they do. No compromise! He's either the leader of your home or your footstool...there's really no in-between.

My top 10 Marriage Rules:
*Be honest with each other, even when it's the hardest choice.
*Be loving in every circumstance.
*Be considerate of feelings, emotions, and each other's pride.
*Be encouraging! No one likes a nag.
*Be optimistic in the hard times.
*Be supportive when he's discouraged.
*Be kind when he's stressed.
*Be understanding when he's frustrated.
*Be a teammate and work together, never against each other.
*Be adoring of your spouse. Let them know they are your favorite person!

I've been challenged on these things lately, and really wanted to share it with all you gals out there. Marriage is a battlefield, so give God the upper hand!