Oh, how often I wish things upon myself that I know I would not have! Often the things I wish have to do with my husband, and I'm sure we all know where that gets us, ladies! That's right: absolutely nowhere! It is foolish trifling to try and change a man that you have claimed to love for exactly himself, for it only produces strife. However, I frequently forget that fact.
Scenario: Clothes on our bedroom floor, one or both of us has commented on it.
I say: Darling, can you put these things away for me?
Translated: You lazy slob, I can't believe you actually expect me to pick up after you time and time again!
What should be said: Darling, I'd love to be able to do everything, but I get frustrated at times. It's very helpful to me when you put your dirty laundry in the hamper right away.
Scenario: 5 loads of laundry all over our bed, it seems to never end, and Scott asks if I can use his help.
I say: Darling, of course I'd love your help folding laundry! Thank you for offering!
Translated: I'd rather fold it all myself in the first place, rather than have to re-fold everything you've done wrong.
What should be said: Darling, I know you don't always do it exactly how I'd like, but the pleasure of your company in this chore makes it delightful!
Scenario: Scott is on his computer working, honestly oblivious to the fact that I am trying to care for a fussy baby, make supper, clear the dining table, straighten the kitchen, and all while realizing how much I could have done earlier in the day, while I was blogging.
I say: *Nothing*
Translated: I can't believe he doesn't notice everything I need help with! Why doesn't he offer to help?!
What should be said: Darling, can you hold the baby for me? She needs a diaper change, if
you don't mind. It would be so helpful for me to get supper on the table. *kiss* Thanks, hon!
Does any of this sound familiar? I know it can happen a lot, and we tend to forget that every relationship is a give and take. Try focusing on how you can give, and don't hold a grudge. (For further reference, read 1 Corinthians 13.) And for the times you are guaranteed to mess up, be ready with an apology and a hug. Now, what about the times he's wrong? Well, that's when you don't take it personally, lovingly address what's wrong, be a servant, and then, when the time is right, sit and talk about it. (Wives, submit to your husbands.) That's hard stuff! But we have to let our men be men and lead, and not complain when they do. No compromise! He's either the leader of your home or your footstool...there's really no in-between.
My top 10 Marriage Rules:
*Be honest with each other, even when it's the hardest choice.
*Be loving in every circumstance.
*Be considerate of feelings, emotions, and each other's pride.
*Be encouraging! No one likes a nag.
*Be optimistic in the hard times.
*Be supportive when he's discouraged.
*Be kind when he's stressed.
*Be understanding when he's frustrated.
*Be a teammate and work together, never against each other.
*Be adoring of your spouse. Let them know they are your favorite person!
I've been challenged on these things lately, and really wanted to share it with all you gals out there. Marriage is a battlefield, so give God the upper hand!
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